The art of making friends... is there really an art to this? Sometimes I think there is. Finding somebody....getting to know this person.... and then somewhere down the line officially becoming their friend. Sounds simple, right?... but in your mind it is a whole different story. This vicious cycle has me caught up every year around this time; making me feel that I'm totally alone that I have no one. It is painful to continually allow the enemy to tell me this year after year. As much as I try to refuse to let that dictate my life it continuously goes around and around in my head. To the point, I don't text or talk to anyone unless they talk to me first, because in my mind it will show me that someone cared and was thinking about me for once instead of me thinking about them. It's almost like I want to be accepted by the people that have already accepted me, but why do I need that approval from them? I have a God that told me the I am His friend and He cares for me. If He loves me the way that no one else can.... Why is that not enough? why do I need something more? Well in the Bible, Hebrews 10:25 talks about fellowship. We need fellowship.... we need that connection to people. I thought that meeting new people and getting to know people from church, work and outside of that would help me grow connections and feel connected to people. I would say 2019 has been the most pressing times that I've had with relationships whether it be family, friends, coworkers, etcetera. Sometimes I'll just tell God that I don't need anybody but Him and I linger in that pain that I'm feeling. Then God reminds me it's not just me needing the other people, BUT it's the other person needing me. If I'm supposed to be a living sacrifice for God, why would this be any different?
I'm just going through the tunnel like in my last post. I'm not saying that at the end of this tunnel, I'll have more friends or a better connection to loved ones. What I am saying is that I'll have a better connection with God and myself knowing that I am loved and cared for by the One that put His life on the line for me.
I thank God for the Holy Spirit, which is my Comforter and Advocate when I don't have the words to say.
I continually hear God repeating Philippians 4:9 to me ... think on these things you'll have the peace of God ...which sums it up.
We have all felt this way at least once before being in a crowded room and feeling alone.
Or felt like we weren't being heard or we were overlooked.
Do you ever feel as if you were Joseph when he was thrown in the cistern... I'm sure he was crying for help but was being ignored by the people that were supposed to be the closest to him. What about me?... what about me?...who's here for me? I could be everything and anything for everybody, but when will I have that same support?
You don't know what someone is going through until you generally ask and actually sit down and listen without talking about yourself for a moment.
Song to listen to: "I Am Not Alone" by Kari Jobe